I am infuriated. And the worst part is, I don’t know who to be mad at. So I’m just mad at our shitty, judgmental society that thinks it’s OK to say really hurtful and offensive things.
Let me back up the bus.
I follow a blog written by another CrossFitter. I really admire her for a number of reasons. One of them being that she, too, has had some difficulty in the pregnancy department and emailing with her helped me through my own loss.
So I was just getting caught up on all my unread blogs in my blog feed and I read this. (If you want to understand the full back story, you need to click on all the links in her blog too.)
This piece of anonymous hate mail is EVERYTHING that is wrong with the human race.
To the Author of the Anonymous Letter Sent to Heather Bergeron:
First of all, if you are going to sling shit at other people, do it in broad daylight. Anyone can send an anonymous letter. That’s easy. You are a coward.
Secondly, exercise doesn’t cause premature babies. There are lots of risk factors associated with premature labor. The Mayo Clinic lists the following factors with an increased risk of premature birth:
- Having a previous premature birth
- Pregnancy with twins, triplets or other multiples
- An interval of less than six months between pregnancies
- Conceiving through in vitro fertilization
- Problems with the uterus, cervix or placenta
- Smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol or using illicit drugs
- Poor nutrition
- Some infections, particularly of the amniotic fluid and lower genital tract
- Some chronic conditions, such as high blood pressure and diabetes
- Being underweight or overweight before pregnancy
- Stressful life events, such as the death of a loved one or domestic violence
- Multiple miscarriages or abortions
- Physical injury or trauma
- Unusual shape of the uterus
Interestingly enough, exercise didn’t make the list. So, Mr. Know it All, get your facts straight.
Third. No one deserves to have a premature kid. No one. As a parent of TWO premature DEAD kids, I find this to be the most offensive thing I have ever read.
Your letter infers that you think you know better than the many doctors and strength and conditioning coaches who are considered to be at the top of their field. I would love to know what your credentials are and what qualifies you to make this judgement call. But wait…you didn’t sign your letter.
Your letter infers that people like Heather and Bethany who CrossFit while pregnant are bad people. So bad, in fact, that you wish premature babies upon them. Well Mr. Tough Guy, what kind of person are you? Only a disgusting individual would wish harm or death upon an unborn child. You are gross, and heartless.
You are the worst kind of person. You put yourself on a pedestal. You think you know what is best for everyone else. You wish harm upon other people as a desperate attempt to express your opinion. You get pleasure from sending your note because “that’ll show them!”, but you can’t even attach your name to it. You are uninformed and malicious.
I am the mother of deceased twin boys, Thomas and James, born prematurely. I exercised during my pregnancy under the direct guidance of my doctors and my coach. CrossFit did not cause my preterm labor. My incompetent cervix did.
You are an asshole. And you have reminded me that the world is full of people like you. People judging me for exercising during my pregnancy. People who think they know what caused my twins to die. People who think they have ALL the answers and who don’t have a CLUE.
I like to think that for every jerk like you, there is someone good out there in the world. I tell myself this because otherwise it is too depressing to think about the future of humankind. I sure hope I am right.
Unlike you, I will proudly attach my name to my letter.